Because Of Me
by rememberingcharlotte
Summary: She's Been Depressed Since That Day 3 Years Ago, He Went To A Place And Was Not Expecting Her To Join Him Any Time Soon, But She Does, Way Too Soon. SEDDIE ONESHOT x. Rated T For Suicide


"_Always been the kind of girl_

_That hid my face_

_So afraid to tell the world_

_What I've got to say_

_But I have this dream_

_Deep inside of me_

_I'm gonna let it show_

_It's time to let you know_

_To let you know_

_This is real, this is me_

_I'm exactly where I'm supposed to be know_

_Gonna let the light shine on me_

_Now I've found who I am_

_There's no way to hold it in_

_No more hiding who I wanna be_

_This is me."_

As I listened to the radio, all the songs just reminded me of him. He was my world. But then it all went wrong. We disagreed more than often and spent less time with each other. We were no longer inseparable. I spent more time with my other friends and didn't show my emotion as much. In the end I was the reason for our separation. I was the one that couldn't deal with all the drama we were being put through. I told him it would be better if we just went back to how we were. Go back to our awkward, unusual friendship. But then have to handle with our other best friend still being in a relationship. It was unbearable for both of us. We couldn't handle it and eventually, the three best friends ran in three different circles. We got new lab partners, new assignment partners, new gym buddies, new everything. We no longer did our usual antics and live happily like that. Unfortunately, I bumped into him in the park. We just stared into each others eyes until it got uncomfortable. He grabbed me by my arms and pulled me into him. His pressed his soft lips to mine ferociously and didn't stop kissing me until breath was crucial. After coming up for breath, I gave him one last glance and walked away. I didn't need him anymore my head told me, but my heart longed for him. I didn't know what to do. Should I be smart and intelligent and listen to my head, or be stupid and free and chase after what I wanted, no needed. I picked the wrong pathway, later that day; the police came to my house saying they had a note for me. They handed it and I looked at the handwriting, it was his handwriting. I tore it open and opened the note.

_I love you. Always had. Always will._

_It's just when you walked away from me today,_

_I felt like I wasn't loved_

_I keep telling myself I'm wrong,_

_I just hope that thought is right._

_If you get this note then it's already happened._

_Someone's found me and found this._

_You don't need to know all of it, _

_All you need to know is that this is the last you'll hear of me._

_I've gone far away and I do not plan on you joining me anytime soon._

_I just want you to live your life as it is and forget I ever existed._

_I doubt that will ever be hard to you._

_You needed to know this._

_I LOVE YOU_

_x._

_P.s._

_It will be the police that bring you this._

_I do not want you to ask them what happened._

_But if you want your heart breaking then go ahead._

_Just one thing._

_I will not be there to comfort you when you break down in tears._

I asked the men what happened. They said they found him in a bush in the park near the swing set. He had an empty bottle of sleeping pills clutched in his hand and he had his hand covering the letter. I forced the men out of my room and out of the house. I needed to be alone.

It's been three years now and I still can't handle it. I constantly listened to 'This is me' Demi Lovato as it was our song. I was exactly like the girl in the song until I met him. I was sick and tired of staying in the house so I went for a walk. I knew the exact place to go, it was 6 blocks away. I took my iPod and listened to all the songs that were present in our relationship. I entered the place and went to the spot I knew so well, the spot under the tree. I knelt down and read the stone for the billionth time:

_Here lies Freddie Benson, Son and Best Friend._

_1994-2009 Age 15_

'_Sam, you'll always be with me, and hopefully I will always be with you.'_

_Marissa, David, Carly, Sam will always be remembered._

_~Freddie (Freddork) ~_

Reading this always made me cry. I never thought that I, Sam Puckett would every cry for someone like Freddie Benson, but here I was, kneeling at his grave, head in my knees. I was the reason for his death. I could not bare to live with that. And I had prepared for this. With me was my mother's full bottle of tablets for whatever. I opened the lid and tipped them into my mouth and swallowed. I prepared for what was coming and hugged the headstone. It was peaceful death, especially because I knew I would soon be with the one I truly wanted to be with.

_**Here lies Samantha Jane Puckett, **_

_**Daughter, Sister and best Friend**_

_**1994-2009**_

'_**Now I am with my dork, my truly loved dork.'**_

_**I planned to join you sooner than you thought.**_

_**I will miss you Mom, Carly and Spencer.**_

_**~Sam~**_


End file.
